Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.
I went to the hardware store to buy some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.