The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property.
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?