My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
My secret to staying young... Having no sense of time.