My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.