My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.

I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.