I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?