My secret to staying young... Having no sense of time.

I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?