I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

You know, the New Testament is pretty old. I think they should call them the Old Testament and the Most Recent Testament.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.