I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>

I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.