If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.