If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.