I was an only child, eventually.

I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.

My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.