I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything toda

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.