I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

I just got this new camera. It's very advanced - you don't even need it.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.