My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.

I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."

I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?

Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.