My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.

I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.

I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.

I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why are they called a-part-ments, when they're all stuck together?