If God dropped acid, would he see people?

Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.

You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .

I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.