The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.