I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."

I just have a relationship with my imagination. It's like my friend, almost.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.

I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.