My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
Steven WrightMy girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
Steven WrightOne time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"
Steven Wright