I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.

I took a baby shower.