I invented the cordless extension cord.

Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.