You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick

It's like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules.

I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?