I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.

Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.

I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination; I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?