I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.

43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don't really remember what we talked about.