I thought I would be a guy on the radio.

I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends."

People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.

If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?