George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?