When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.

I went to the hardware store to buy some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.

Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.