I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.

always remember your unique, just like everone else

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.