I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper.

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.