I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?