If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell

At one point he decided enough was enough.

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.