You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!

I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.

What a nice night for an evening.