If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"
My secret to staying young... Having no sense of time.
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.