Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!