I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.
Steven WrightI busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven WrightI moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.
Steven Wright