Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?