A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

I was skydiving horizontally.