I haven't changed at all. I'm the same as when I was 11.

What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.

I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.

I washed mud off of mud.