Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
For a while I didn't have a car . . . I had a helicopter . . . no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. [slow glance upward]