I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.