Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!

I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?