Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.

I'm a peripheral visionary.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

It's a fine night to have an evening.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.