If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.