I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
Hermits have no peer pressure.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.