If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.