I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
Steven WrightThere's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven WrightI was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.
Steven WrightWhy do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Steven Wright