You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

It's a fine night to have an evening.

I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.