I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.