Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
I lost a button hole.
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."