My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?

Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.

The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.

I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.