While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?"

Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. She said, "You didn't borrow this." I said, " I will!"

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.