I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
Steven WrightChildhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?'
Steven WrightIf you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Steven WrightI have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright