I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.
Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world 'Up Over'?
I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'