You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.