George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.

My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?