Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.

It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

I was skydiving horizontally.