Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?

I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination; I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.

So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.

You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.