Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.

My secret to staying young... Having no sense of time.

I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.