You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.