I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?