There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.

Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

A fool and his money are soon partying.