There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?