There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.'

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.