Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"

Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.